Reflections are in from some of the 35 folks who gathered at ALC-NYC from July 11th through July 19th for our summer programming! We used the structure of 3 open space practice days, 1 rest day, and then 5 days with kids from the school community running a Bonus School experience. Folks were, as in the Atlanta gathering, in and out fluidly.
The location always makes finding places to stay challenging for folks who aren’t local, but the nearby subway, bus, train, and bike options make it easy for them to get around and build field trips into the schedule for multiple days, with or without event host support. I mentioned to folks that I always feel somewhat torn between wanting to host somewhere we could house people more easily and cheaply and wanting to host at home, where they can experience our space and meet our community. People responded that they appreciated getting to come visit and be in our center, even with the housing constraints. They expressed interest in a gathering somewhere else, but not as a replacement for NYC gatherings.
They had lots of other helpful feedback to share, too!
They really enjoyed each other and the ALC-NYC folks who participated. Every reflection form submission included some mention of the people in the group when replying to the question “What was awesome and felt really good during your experience?” Other things people mentioned in those replies were the access to the city and art supplies, the openness and practice co-creating the experience together, encouragement to rest and to explore, and the structure of the Bonus School week giving them a glimpse into our school year rhythms.
Replies to “What did you learn through your experience?” were a mix of content highlights and folks’ reflections on who and how they are as learners. That’s something I hope for when hosting these kinds of events, so it was nice to see. The content highlights included details about structuring and running an ALC, both in terms of the model’s day-to-day application and in terms of administration of such a dynamic space year-to-year. People also enjoyed learning about the city and about media that the young people in our center are currently excited about. Personally, they reflected that they learned about what supports them getting comfortable engaging in new groups. About their desires and fears. About the roots of their impulses to control, rush, or attempt to fix, and about the possibilities that are revealed when they practice something different.
In answering “What are you still wondering about?” they brought up similar themes. They still (and always) wonder about what practice looks like with different students. They wonder (still and always) about running an organization, tending governance of a community in a context like ours, in ways that are sustainable and ethical for families, staff, and neighbors. They wonder what happened in rooms they weren’t in, and they wonder about who they’ll become between our parting and whenever our paths cross again.
Asked what they would experiment with changing if they were part of the hosting team in the future, people imagined finding ways to offer more scaffolding to folks who aren’t accustomed to self-directing or to participating in co-design processes. They reflected that this wasn’t a desire that came out of folks not being able to get comfortable engaging, but from a curiosity about what could be possible if there were ways to help folks get more comfortable more quickly.
They expressed that with more time they could imagine themselves having enjoyed using it to spend more time exploring the city or hanging out with each other. One person mentioned they’d be excited about arranging 1-on-1 time with the experienced facilitators on the hosting team, where folks could ask questions without worrying they were taking things in a direction that didn’t align with the interests and needs of the wider group.
It was also mentioned, as it is every year, that staying for more than 3 days feels impossible for some people to figure out logistically and-but the experience of the Bonus School week is something they recognize as really valuable. They wondered about the possibility of finding a way to get more of the full program experience without having to stay in the city for so many days.
I’m thinking about a friend last summer, who ran a family retreat and open space for two weeks and at the end heard from attendees that they wanted him to do it for a whole month the next summer, because they didn’t want it to end.
Thinking about a podcast (DTFH episode 603) where the guest, Moshe Kasher, and the host, Duncan Trussell, speculate that part of what Burning Man gets right is that it doesn’t try to last forever. It accepts and even embraces its temporality.
Thinking about a young adult exclaiming that she felt she had to leave a space for kids and teens as an elder teen, because, she said, she didn’t feel like it could support her growing anymore. She felt the space having limitations was a failure on its part, and one of the adults around the table apologetically agreed.
I’m thinking about these spaces and conversations, in light of the NYC gathering feedback and the recorded reflections I’m listening to from other camps and gatherings this past summer (shout out to the Microsolidarity PNW crew!). It’s so lovely that folks come together in a liminal experiment and can’t get enough. It’s so lovely when they want it to last and last, when they want to never outgrow it and to have it always, easily, alongside their less-liminal lives.
There are design puzzles their yearnings suggest to me. How can we be more accessible? How can we help folks manage fears and expectations? How can we normalize both acclimating slowly and jumping into full engagement quickly, and support folks having whatever feelings they have as they try to shake off shame they have around how they do/don’t dare?
At the same time, sometimes I read feedback forms and smile, because I know that even if I offer pre-event connection time and readings, some of the people who need those supports won’t prioritize them… and that’s okay. No matter how long an event we offer or how much permission to self-determine we explicitly give as hosts, it will be overwhelming for some folks and not enough to be satisfying for some others. No matter how adaptive and potential-filled an architecture is, at some point people will get all they need to (for now) from it. It won’t fit right anymore, and that too-tight-shoe of a space will urge them, in its way, to continue along on their journey, someplace else.
I don’t think this is bad. I love both the yearnings and the confrontation with the seasonality of conditions and characters in our growth journeys.
What I enjoyed in this summer’s gathering was the vibrance and creativity of the group, the way they came to play and to make each other feel welcome as we made them each feel. What I learned was that in this historical moment people are interested in content but much much more interested in connection, in camps and sanctuaries and retreats for re-connection with themselves, their places, and people who inspire them to play, curiosity, and hope. I still wonder what my role should be in meeting this moment. Do I keep holding liminal spaces? How? For who? Do I tend the transitional experiences into and out of such spaces? Work with small groups to self-organize and make ways to carry the wonder they found in the in between into the mundane moments of their lives? Stop hosting and just point at rad people doing the work of gathering and hosting prefigurative groups, loudly celebrating all the folks who inspire me every day? Offer to show up at events, not as a designer or facilitator, but as someone who can play with the kids and wash the dishes and keep the tea water warm? I wonder.
And what to experiment with changing next time? Well. First, I’m experimenting with inviting folks from the summer gatherings into an ongoing chat and monthly call that I’ll invite others from communities like theirs into as well. And I’m experimenting with making a bunch of the content I have available online as text available as audio or video. Then, I’ll let my subconscious play with the what-to-do-next question while I focus my conscious attention on the day-to-day of caretaking 2 K-12 schools. Finally, it’ll be February and I’ll have to figure out next summer with whoever and whatever resources are around me then.
Grateful for what was and curious to see what comes. For now, I’m 1 month into school in one state and about to start a new year in another. The weather is getting cooler, and a hurricane is approaching friends’ home down south. Going to leave this reflective artifact and be present in the season change. Excited to revisit these thoughts with new knowledge after the fall.
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